I'm no clown....

So why do I feel like I am juggling a lot of things and trying to keep plates spinning at the same time??

This weekend, things have come to a head and it has got me thinking hard about how I am conducting my life.

I feel like I am doing nothing really well, but a several things inadequately. I know there is always going to be a certain level of multi-tasking required for every day life, but I need to narrow down what really needs to be done right now, then re-evaluate every few weeks.

I won't bore you with the details of my lists. Suffice to say, I am putting mental health first. It is going to be a learning curve because I really am not sure what I need to do. I guess gaining a sense of control is important. No, not control. Security. I need to secure my life the way it is and ensure that nothing interferes with it. I need to secure my future.

Unfortunately, posting blogs is not really going to assist me with this, so although I have only just started, I am going to have a break from writing. I expect I will come back after Christmas to lay down some thoughts on the year to come. There are going to be more things than this that I cut out for the short term, but it is for the very best of reasons. I just hope I don't offend anyone....

Your time starts now!

Ok, so this is not the deep, thoughtful blog the title may have suggested. 

Friend P suggested I try this exercise which he had done... basically you just have to write constantly for 3 minutes on a given topic, giving no regard to grammar and then see what you have written at the end of the time. I copied his chosen topic of "I am thankful for...." and here is what I wrote!

I am thankful for life. Having been through an operation changed my perspective a little on that one. I am also thankful for having loving parents who are still happily married after 37 years today. I am thankful for having a job for over 5 years solid, despite the economic climate. I am thankful for my sense of humour, for the friends and strangers I meet online, for the Spring and the Autumn, for fluffy animals and pretty flowers.  

Life really is like a box of chocolates!

Firstly, thanks for reading! For those few of you that don't know, the title of my blog is a quote from the brilliant Tom Hanks film, Forrest Gump.

I am not too sure where this blog will go, but it is basically about explaining my perspective of life to the world. It won't interest everyone, all the time, but I hope at least one person will enjoy each post. I will endeavour to make it interesting, informative or at the very least, entertaining! 

So, where to start? Well I guess I could give a quick run down of how 2013 has gone for me so far. 

I saw the New Year in with a cup of tea and the hope of achieving a few goals. It would be fair to say, I have not actually achieved any of them to date. Nothing new there, hey! It hasn't been a totally bad year though... here are some of the highlights so far:

• our annual trip to Benidorm in January - first time in the Benimar apartments went well, looking  forward to going back next year!
• in May, my work team had re-structured and I became assigned to a specific payroll. It has been a lot to learn, but I think I am well settled now.
• our trip to Blackpool in June was fun - enjoyed seeing the Tower Ballroom and watching the circus act. I'd highly recommend The Beachwood Guesthouse on Moore Street - our second visit there was just as good as the first. 
• at the end of June, we changed our car. Hubby had had the Fiesta since before he even passed his driving test, so it was a big event. Choosing a new car was an intense and exhausting exercise, but thankfully I can say that to date we are both happy with the Suzuki Alto we went for. 
• in July, I ceased taking beta blockers after 18 months on them. It is only since I came off them that I have realised how much they were affecting me. I feel so much more like myself nowadays, I just have to be careful not to get my heart rate too elevated.
• also in July, I began driving lessons - I had begun to think it would never happen and still find it slightly surreal at times! I am making fair progress, but I'm not ready to book my test just yet. I passed my theory test first time on 17th September, so that was very encouraging!
• thirdly in July, I applied for the Civil Service Clerical Officer pool. Along with a few of my work mates, I didn't get past the first stage. It got me thinking though and I began looking for and applying for new jobs. I got one interview but no feedback from that and a few rejections before interview over the following few months. 
• the start of September was our 3 night trip to Lake Garda. We've come to really love that place! It is so easy to relax there because there are very few modern distractions. All you can do is enjoy the scenery and relax! The weather was pretty warm, around 30 degrees, but we enjoyed it all the same. As soon as we got back, we booked to go back next year, for a week this time!
• September and October were tough months for me. My Mum was due to have her gallstone removal op in September and then it was postponed, which meant we lost the money spent on our travel over to England. It also meant we were on pins waiting for her new appointment. It eventually came around on 23rd October and I have rarely been so nervous as I was that morning! Thankfully it went well (they actually removed the whole gall bladder in the end) and Mum was home after one night in hospital. I guess the highlight here was the change of perspective on life that this event gave me.
• in November, I decided to stop job hunting. In fact, it would be fair to say I had a complete change of direction! I have decided that I want to pursue my career where I am. I have a long way to go before I am proficient in it, but at the same time, I think it would be a waste to leave the skills and knowledge I have and start a-fresh somewhere else. It's not as clear cut as that, but that is one major factor in my decision to stay put. 

So that's you all up-to-date! I am hoping November and pre-Christmas December will be pretty uneventful, because winter is enough of a struggle already, but watch this space all the same! 

Michelle x